


Humour Is A Deadly Business

by Silver Lioness (Rumpels_Darker_Dearie)



Series: Dark Drabbles [11]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-09-28 20:31:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20432006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumpels_Darker_Dearie/pseuds/Silver%20Lioness
Summary: Hermione is sight-seeing in Gotham city and she stops off in Jack-A-Napes - a Comedy Joke Shop. Does she get more than she bargained for by being with a strangely compelling shop manager?





	1. Chapter 1

There was not much she could do, as she stood in the joke shop in Gotham city. What attracted her to the place she could never understand but the colourful sign Jack-A-Napes was a draw in as she loved a play on words.

Almost half a lifetime of friendship with the Weasley twins and dating one had given her some sort of immunity against pranks.

“Well, well,” a dark mischievous voice echoed out from behind the counter. “A tourist, and what might the pretty little tourist’s name be?”

“Her… Hermione,” she stammered.

“Nice to meet you, Her… Hermione,” and a man hopped up from the counter, “and what would Her… Hermione wish to buy from Jack-A-Napes?”

“Nothing deadly, thank you!”

“Psh tosh, and pfft to that,” the man who looked like some sort of deranged clown on a bender or two with crack glanced at her, “Everything here can kill you, my pretty Her…Hermione,” he leapt over the counter, the coattails of his purple jacket flew behind him and then scampered up to her slightly bowlegged, “but I can do it most efficiently. Her…Hermione, what would one like to do?” he’d blown some mystifying hypnotic powder in her direction.

“Anything you want,” she whispered staring up at him starry-eyed.


	2. Troubles Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another anecdote in the life of Jack Napier and Hermione Granger.

Jack-A-Napes was quite an interesting shop, but hadn’t she been here before? Hermione was sure she’d remember being around the interesting store owner, a man with green hair and manic clown makeup. A painted-on smile so one could not tell whether he was upset or not.

“Hello, Hermione,” he said cackling wickedly, “such a _pretty_ name,” he scampered around her on his bandy legs then started stroking her hair, "such a pretty _mane_!" She shivered under his touch. “Ready for some fun tonight?”

Ah, now she recalled what she was there for, a date. Of course, why else would she be here? She had friends back home who owned a joke shop… ah yes, so she was here to buy something for her friends, how could she have forgotten this?

“I’m sorry,” she sighed, “I must have forgotten. I came here to purchase something for my prankster loving friends,” Mr Napier stopped in front of her affecting a frown. Although she could hardly tell with the made-up cheerful expression on his face. “Can you suggest anything?”

“How about this?” he skipped over to a shelf full of different coloured shimmering liquids. “This is chemically enhanced to turn into dust, one poof and the victim’s memories can be altered ad it doesn’t hurt… much!” he laughed, “now shall we go on our date? I don’t want your money; I just need laughter and joy!”

Well, they would appeal to the Weasley Twins sense of humour, she placed the box of silvery hued luminous liquid in test tubes in her bag, “You’re a bit of a trouble-maker, aren’t you, Mr Napier?”

“Yes, yes I am,” he snickered, “but I don’t go looking for trouble but I do enjoy befriending it!” he said as he hooked his arm through hers! “Ready now, shall we paint the town red?”

**Author's Note:**

> I may continue this and turn it into a true crossover.


End file.
